I feel like I’m starting this blog a little late in the junky game. At 29, I’ve been at this opiate thing for over half of my life now with a little more than nothing to show for it.
There’s quite a lot to be said in being a veteran user of drugs, and even moreso in living long enough to see what lies in the wake of your habit. Some nights, I lay awake in the wonderment of why I’m so lucky, still alive, and not in prison. Other times I wonder why I’m so unfortunate to even have to ask those questions; shouldn’t I instead be marveling at the fact I’m significantly unlucky in having to live a life where I appreciate the bad things just because they’re happening to me?
I suppose in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t really matter either way; I am what I am and nothing is going to change that, short of a winning lottery ticket or some other supernatural event. I guess the question I’m ultimately looking to answer throughout this process is what is it that keeps me coming back for more? Now, I’m sure there are countless twelve-step cliches that one could apply to such a question. I’m willing to bet there’s enough ‘just-say-no-mentality’ bullshit to drown me in it for a week. And I’m damn near one hundred percent that you’ve already got an opinion of your own on the matter. (I guess we’ll just wait and see?)
Hi there. A shout out to a fellow survivor.
Nothing to show for your life? Hell, I’ve never met you IRL, but I’d say just your websites suggest a reality somewhat different. On the topic of websites: thanks for the opportunity to blog the nastier side of a dissolute life, bi11i – and to read more about yours.
Life isn’t over yet… and the hell to “Just Say No”.
I prefer to “Just Say MAYBE”…
Anyway, take care – you’ll hear more out of me soon, I promise!
Peri
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