countdown to de-sat(uration)

Here we go…. I can already feel the nostalgia. As I get older the nostalgia almost seems to hurt a little more than the withdrawal. Music brings this on more than anything else. WSB was more than right when he said a sick junky’s best friend is music. There’s literally nothing available that comforts more than music, although I can’t just listen to anything.

Thoughts of Portland, thoughts of summer, feelings of guilt and loss; it’s that feeling of “what a better time I would’ve had if I wouldn’t have been stuffing my pain full of relief”. Like a fucking turkey, I was. Makes it hard to look around and see what kind of life I”ve been living. Makes me feel like I’ve been living in a dreamworld for far too long. Like I’ve been mistreating those around me. Like I’ve let go another few important years of my life, totally lost forever as I’m not a believer of any after.

Feels good, though. Feels good to not be the zombie. I wonder what makes me forget this transission. It must be the pain that comes on shortly after the euphoria of it all.

One thought on “countdown to de-sat(uration)

  1. how true WSB was about music .every sick junky has a lullaby ,one that can make you cry so hard your cheeks think it’s raining. well at least i do and it comforted me when i needed it. for me it must be music of my choosing (of course) b/c the music i want to hear in those moments must have meanings and we all know how a song can take you so many places. this is my thanks to those musicians that got me throgh. and bi11i have you lived in Portland long did you know Peter Dempsey ,he died of aids last year,he was one of my best friends .yes an ol junky too,but he was an outstanding lampworker which for those of you who don’t know is a glassblower that makes pipes or other glass goods with a torch.the only reason i mentioned this is b/c he inspired me to blow glass but i work in a hot shop which means you work your glass in a furnace.the other difference is a lampworker starts with solid blass and uses a torch to shape it.the kind of glass i blow starts out as molten lava and you dip your blowpipe in and ect…. sorry i bet this falls under who gives a fuck.anyway VIVA LA MUSICA.


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