the green that isn't grass

I have a cavity. Three days now with this persistent toothache and itâ€™s not looking like its going to go away by itself. Itâ€™s been at least 10 years since Iâ€™ve been to a dentist, and Iâ€™m up late at night at the thought of going to one now. Sixteen teeth have been pulled from […]

how the green grass grows

Seasons always fuck with my head. When winter decides to make an appearance, I think of dope. When summer comes along, I think about the heat (and dope.) Spring. Fall. Dope. Dope. This buprenorphine trip really isn’t all that bad, but don’t let it fool you; its not without cost. Sure, kicking the junk is […]

dope sick love

What a great documentary this was; a one hour trip into an 18 month street-excursion of crack smoking, heroin shooting, and scant living. Brent and Craig Renaud are both brother and filmmakers who were raised in Little Rock, Ark. This first film premiering on HBO, portrays the followed lives of two drug addicted couples on […]

spring break is over

Well, I made it. Not long after I wrote that last one did I get a phone call. I spent some time on the phone, doing what I could to con an overpaid idiot into thinking I deserve a job, when I hung up and noticed instantly the overwhelming and electric feeling of no return. […]

captain re-sat

As much as I’d like to say I had a ‘great ole time’ making the switch from suboxone back to opiates, I cannot. It just wasn’t that great. It feels like I poisoned myself with nostalgia and am now tainted for the long haul. My thoughts of being in Portland made me so sick that […]

a first post

I feel like I’m starting this blog a little late in the junky game. At 29, I’ve been at this opiate thing for over half of my life now with a little more than nothing to show for it. There’s quite a lot to be said in being a veteran user of drugs, and even […]